Letting God, and not getting in the way

This past month has been one of the toughest of my life.  I have had a roller coaster month, and started on a low, but really took off on February 2.  I thought life was perfect, God let me have what I wanted, an awesome girlfriend.  Things changed though, I took that for granted.  We both decided that we weren't ready for this, and time still needed to develop a friendship.  That was hard to accept, and I really didn't want to accept it.  I fought it, I fought God, but looking back, I was advising God to let this happen, while making it sound like I want what God wants, but I was just fooling myself, I was telling God this is what I want.  So the last two weeks I have been battling on what in the world to do.  I was so willing to wait and wait and wait, and couldn't take it anymore, I really just wanted this whole thing to be done.  I was so consumed in myself, that I completely forgot about God.  Yeah I would read my Bible, go to class, go to chapel, but struggle deep within on this battle.  I wanted this done, I wanted this gone, and I took care of it, I ended one of the most valuable friendships that I have had at BBC.  I reacted, and didn't act, and gave up.  I am so thankful that God is a God of second chances though, I have no idea if that friendship will be reconciled, but I pray that it will be.
So why blog this?  Because I want people to realize two things, why I have been frustrated, tired, and beat up lately.  But also, I want people to think about their friendships.  Where are they?  First off are they right with God?  Have you built your friendships to a point where you are able to go through a fire and be refined?  Friends are some of the best things that can happen in life, but we need to make sure that God is still the priority.  That is the one thing that I have learned through this, is that even though we think we know what is going on, God is still in control, and sometimes we have to let go and let God.  What does this look like?  I am still learning this, but when we do let go and let God work, things become so much easier because we don't have to worry about what is going on.  This is a lesson that has taken me all month to figure out, but it is one that I am glad I had to learn.  I really wish I could have learned this three weeks ago, but I didn't and now I can honestly say that I have given this over to God, and He is control of this now.  Praise God from whom all blessing flow!